What is Life by Design?
* This is the transcript from my very first podcast.
Sometimes we don't get what we ask for . . . that is . . . until we do.
In today’s podcast . . . my very first one . . . I’m going to talk about my new venture Life by Design. I’m so excited! But more importantly I’m going to talk about listening to inspiration when it shows up. About allowing ourselves to change our minds and change directions and how important it is to sometimes recalibrate and head in a new direction when our life isn’t working.
About five years ago I did something pretty major. I was looking to shake things up. I took all my business marketing materials to the dump. I had been a motivational speaker and coach for over 15 years at the time. My brand was BOOM Thinking: Helping people to Break Out of Old Mindsets and I called myself the Dynamite Motivational Speaker. But you know, it wasn’t working for me. I did not feel like a dynamite anything. So off to the dump I went. In truth, I had been restless for some time. I had been working so hard and not getting the results I wanted. I was frazzled ya'll!
Before my trip to the dump, I’d been trying to wake myself up and stir the pot. I went to a bunch of "Become a Millionaire" speaker-ish workshops and conferences one after another in an effort to light a fire under my fanny and in my heart. I’d listen to the speaker and drink their Koolaid® only to come home more exhausted and even more weary and confused than when I left. I was learning tons about building a business, but it wasn’t working for me. I wasn't building a business that made my heart sing. I spent boo-coos of money and energy on these conferences plus business coaching, mastermind groups, you name it. But none of them could compensate for my own lack of passion. None could get me over the hump from being mentally exhausted. When I would be in my office all alone, I didn't want to make sales calls. I wanted to eat Oreos and take a nap!
Simultaneously, I was seeing a side of the coaching industry that didn’t resonate with me. A side that focused more on making money and selling bigger and more expensive products to often very vulnerable people. It was quickly not becoming my tribe. I couldn’t articulate this at the time, but in hindsight I see this is where the disconnect began.
I was mentally and spiritually TOAST, and fortunately I finally began to see the truth. I was becoming painfully aware that perhaps, just maybe, I should be doing something different with my talents and my life.
But even then, my ego was relentless. She kept pushing me. She would say things like "You've just got to work harder." or "Just bide your time, the dam is going to break soon. or "How about going to another seminar?" Sheesh! Enough already!
When I could be honest with myself (usually around 3 in the morning) I’d acknowledge that wee, small voice telling me to call it quits. But in the light of day, I wasn’t brave enough to be that honest. Besides, I was no quitter! So, this tug of war with myself went on for quite a while.
So, back to my story. I’m working hard, doing all the business-y stuff, tackling my demons, writing things, making sales calls, you name it. But it wasn’t working like I thought it should. I was also raising two kids with disabilities in the throes of adolescents as a single mom. My plate was full!!!
When I could take it no longer, when sitting on the fence-of-indecision was killing me, I knew I had to find a way off the fence and out of this do-loop.
I looked for something bold, some kind of grand gesture I could do that would force me out of this indecision and maybe give me some peace. I wanted this to be some REALLY daring thing that would be an indisputable signal to the Universe I was finally paying attention and therefore deserved clarity. Oh, did I crave clarity!
So, all alone on a Tuesday, telling no one what I was going to do, I drug my reluctant fanny to the dump and rather unceremoniously tossed thousands of dollars’ worth of materials onto the stinky pile at the bottom of the bin. I tossed a lot of stuff! Not just a lot of money was being thrown away but so were hours of blood, sweat and tears! There, lying at the bottom of the gross, noxious trash pile was my identity and maybe even a few pieces of my soul.
Then I turned to the heavens and waited for a sign. I looked for any clue about what I was really supposed to be doing with my career. After all, this was a mighty grand gesture on my part, wouldn't you say? God could at least give me a modicum of clarity, a sliver of insight or even some pea-sized relief to my discomfort of the unknown. I peeled my ears back and listened for the loud BOOM of an epiphany.
Then I perked up my ears so I could hear the tiniest whisper of inspiration.
I heard nothing, nada, not a sound. Just the empty sound of crickets in the distance.
I went home sad, deflated and second guessing myself as much as I had been before. Maybe even more. Was it too late to go back and get my stuff? Could I climb down into the bin and get it all back?
For four years I heard nothing—at least I thought I was hearing nothing. I only heard those taunting, redundant, mind-numbing crickets! Like it or not . . . I was stuck for a LONG TIME!
Here's the real irony of the thing. What I did as a speaker and coach, what I've committed my whole professional life to and what I still really, really want to continue doing is to HELP PEOPLE GET UNSTUCK! Geesh!!!!!!
But stuck I was and stuck I remained, wading through the concrete-like quicksand of stuckness, of doubt, of skepticism and worry.
Okay, fast forward four years when things finally broke open. (I know four years, right!) But things finally began to shift, to come into focus, to fall into place. Not in the miracle-like way I wanted. Not with the skies opening and angels singing. Not on my timeline. Not the way I wanted them to. But they broke open.
I didn’t get some booming declaration but rather it was the unmistakable whispers of inspiration and encouragement and direction.
Here’s the deal, I was getting clearer all along the way. I was getting answers and suggestions and insights the whole time.
Finally, those whispers and ideas reached critical mass, reached their tipping point and things came into focus.
No more crickets.
My Current Work
Which brings me to present day. Like I said, I’ve come back to coaching. I’ve returned to my roots of helping people, women primarily, have a life that they really love. I call it Life by Design and my focus is helping people clear their mind, clear their clutter and clear a path to the life they always intended. Actually, that’s my tag line and I’ll tell you more about what I mean by that in a minute.
But once again, let’s go back to my story. Those years of being professionally stuck, professionally constipated, were also some of my most happy. I discovered one of my dearest friends also happened to be the man of my dreams. So, I married him and have begun to live the most beautiful life imaginable.
While I felt intense stuckness in my work and career, other things were working. I moved, we bought a beautiful home, me and my kids made it through adolescence. I was also getting loads of new insights, new ideas and an even deeper understanding of how to get unstuck. The steps I took to create my own beautiful life revealed themselves to me one at a time and I’m excited to share.
In all my stuckness I was also, almost unbeknownst to me, crafting MY ideal life. I was taking stock in what I wanted more of, what I wanted less of, what thoughts and feelings needed to be tweaked and what I needed to practice and bring to the forefront. I made huge headway in designing my own life.
Simply put, that’s what my coaching practice is all about—helping women do the exact same thing. Of course, all of our lives will be different, our definitions of clutter will vary, and our outcomes will be different, but we CAN each have our ideal lives.
I hope and think I have come back to my life's work a much wiser and more committed woman. It's from this perspective that I’ve created and am showing up to Life by Design.
Back to my tag line. What exactly do I mean by “clear your mind, clear your clutter and clear a path to the life you always intended"? That’s a huge question and one in that I’ll be exploring each week on this podcast and in all of my writing. But in short, it’s about having only those thoughts and feelings as well as possessions and experiences that serve our higher good. That we stop tolerating drains on our energy. We stop putting up with toxic environments and situations and people. That we cultivate a life that is primarily filled with things that bring us joy. We clear away things that are blocking us from being and having the life we really and truly crave.
So, I hope you’ll stay in touch, use this podcast to get new ideas, and work with me as your coach if you feel led to do so..
Before I end this podcast, I want to say one thing about Crickets:
It was observed by my friends that I often described my silence as "hearing crickets." But crickets are far from silent. So, I did some research on the spiritual meaning of crickets. What I found was quite enlightening.
When Cricket or Grasshopper chooses to be your Spirit Animal get ready for new awakenings and big leaps of faith! Cricket and Grasshopper appear to let you know that now is the time to sharpen and believe in your intuition. Have your dreams been ones of predicting the future? Are you more sensitive than usual? Cricket and Grasshopper hop into your awareness to let you know this is natural. You can believe what you’re seeing and feeling.
Pretty Darn Cool, right
Thank you so much for taking the time to listen today. I hope you’ve at least found a pearl of wisdom or two or something you can do right now to create a more beautiful life. If this podcast has brought you something positive, why not subscribe so they come right to you! Also, feel free to share this with others. I love to be passed around!
Wanna get started crafting your ideal life? I've got some gifts to help you do just that!
And always remember—you CAN have a beautiful life. You just have to clear your mind, clear your clutter so you can clear a path to the life you always intended.
Until Next Time!
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